by @munin, improvements by @friedkiwi.

‘beef stew’ is not a secure password. It’s not stroganoff.

What you need

  • The pasta stuff: *A pot for pasta *Pasta like egg noodles or bowties *A pinch of salt *Water *A colander or strainer or something

  • Also:

    • About a pound of ground beef
      • quorn mince or similar also works if you’re vegetarian, so does turkey mince if you don’t eat beef.
    • Some vegetable oil
    • Garlic powder
    • A pan to fry up the beef
    • A spatula
    • A couple of spoons
    • A can of cream of mushroom soup
    • (optional) small jar of petit pois and baby carrots

Do this

  • Prep pasta
    • Put the pasta in the pot with a pinch of salt.
    • Fill the pot with enough water to cover the pasta plus like a half inch
    • Put this on the back stove burner and turn it on. You’re going to want to watch this boil while you do the other stuff.
    • After it starts boiling, poke it with a fork every minute or so to see if you can stab a noodle - if you can do that, drain off any water using the strainer.


  • Prep pasta the lazy way
    • Chuck it into a rice cooker and even it out
    • Add water so the pasta is barely covered
    • Stir through a pinch of salt and some vegetable oil
    • Close it up and turn the fucker on and forget about it
  • Meanwhile:
    • Put a spoonful of vegetable oil in the pan, then put the ground beef on top of that.
    • Get a spoonful or two of garlic powder and toss it on the beef.
    • Turn the heat on medium and watch this cook.
    • Every 30 seconds or so, chop up the beef in the pan and stir it around. You want everything to be in small bits that are brown and hot.
    • If you get a bunch of fat, scoot the beef to one side and tip the pan a little the other way so you can get it out with a spoon.
  • When the beef is browned:
    • Dump the can of cream of mushroom soup over the beef. Stir it around until everything is hot.
    • Put some noodles in a bowl
    • Put some beef stuff on top
    • Maybe add some salt and pepper, or sprinkle on some tarragon if you have it. I’m not your mom.
  • Other things you can do:
    • Try having this on rice. It’s good.
    • Add some spices other than garlic - try chipotle powder or summat.
    • Throw in some peas when you add the mushroom soup. Or chopped up carrots. Or both. Or be lazy and use a jar of the stuff.
    • Try it with ground chicken or turkey or pork. Use e.g. quorn mince if you’re vegetarian.
    • Throw in some spinach with the beef when it’s almost done browning. Or chopped mushrooms. Let those cook down with it.